i am bowling for abortion access for lower income women, did you know that? women who might not have the means or funds to pay for a legal, medical procedure? well i am. i believe in going Balls Out for Abortion Access! i'm Striking Down Barriers!

i am doing an awesome Heathers themed Bowl-A-Thon for Lilith Fund. i'm going to be "Heather Duke" who was played by Shannen Doherty. i'm going to wear green, carry a copy of Moby Dick around and generally be a mega-bitch. why? because i can be! it's going to be VERY and i can't wait to participate and have some serious fun. any donation, in any amount is a raffle ticket entry for 2 amazing prizes. my friend Jenny Mathews is generously donating a piece of her AMAZING artwork (it'll be a surprise which one i picked). one will be some sort of jewelry piece by Lorigami (Heathers themed or green i'm sure) all handmade with love. i can't wait to send those out to my amazing donors. Jenny and Lori are friends who want to support me in my efforts to bring abortion access to all women. how awesome are they? go and buy their stuff, please. i mean, they are AMAZING LADIES THAT I LOVE.

if you donate anything- i'll be sending you a lovely, handmade personalized thank you card of me in my Heathers regalia. it'll be very. trust. i'm going Balls Out for it- big 80s style hair, makeup and outfit. i'm not the only one so check all of our pages out! we have an actual Veronica and a guy to be our JD. IT IS SO AWESOME.


i wrote a blog a few months back about how Lilith Fund changed my life. i fundraised almost $500 for them for my 40th birthday. well, i've since met Heather B. and she's even more amazing as a friend in real life. abortion bringin' ladies together for friendship. i got my very best friend, my Nerd Soul Mate Amy to do a Virtual Bowl-A-Thon in Las Vegas. i got my friend here in Corpus, Susan to join up with me.

if you have even $5 you will be helping a woman make the right choices for her and her life. i myself donated $45 & i worked hard for that money and it was worth it. i'm hoping to donate to all my friend's pages before the end of this shindig.

i've been busy living and more importantly- loving my life. i went to Los Angeles & met awesome people, turned 40, cleaned a bunch of houses, drank a lot of Starbucks & baked some dark chocolate brownies that changed me as a human being.

i'm still processing the Sons of Anarchy Los Angeles fan event. it was such a great weekend. Mark (his wife & family too) and Myra & her DH were so fun and all around awesome. the hotel was top-notch, the whole experience was just awesome. i use that word a lot (overuse it, really) but i can't think of a better word. everyone involved in it and who was there was nothing but fucking cool as shit. i made real friends for life that night and on that trip. i'll never forget it. words don't do it justice.

i turned 40 a week after. i love that i tell people that and they freak out. it's a nice ego stroke for me. it's nice to know that a single gal of a certain age gets told she looks like a teenager by some famous people. that was one fuck of a compliment- i'll tell you.

i've decided to move my work life into self-employment by housecleaning. hard work & stiff muscles are my life. i get such satisfaction from it that being exhausted is worth it. also, i make a lot more money for a lot less work. i like this aspect.

i also love that i rub hater ass bitches the wrong way. hate on. i rarely waste more than a hot minute on people who only want to drag me down to their low, low level. even if i dug a tunnel- i'd still be high & above them. they serve only as a reminder what ingratitude looks like- ugly, trashy & deserving of all the bad Karma that seems to come their way. i wake up grateful every single morning, i know i have an awesome life. i work hard for it.

i can't wait to move, pay off my car, go on vacation somewhere new & exciting and keep on shining. that's the part the haters can't stand- true happiness. i won't pretend i'm always up and happy but when i realize i'm not being myself- i set myself straight and refocus.

Happy 2012, bitches. this is MY year. i'm going to only go up and forward- faster, stronger & better than last year.

fundraising for an abortion access fund changed my life.

when Dr. Tiller was assassinated in May 2009, i had been on Twitter for about 7-8 months. i was already addicted and had been finding all sorts of really interesting tweeps. the news of his death hit Twitter and instantly i was enraged. i grew up pro-choice. my mother was a feminist and all about "your choice is your business. never let anyone decide how YOU feel." as a mother. she expressed horror at clinic bombing, assassination attempts (i vividly recall the previous shooting Dr. Tiller suffered from.) and general in your face bullshit from the "pro-life" movement.

i have never had an abortion. i was lucky, my mother had that sex talk young, i had no desire to go out and see what all the fuss was about and so i never put myself in a position to have unprotected sex. i've also never been sexually assaulted for which i am grateful every single day when i read stories of survivors. my mother is the reason i am who i am today. pro-choice, feisty, feminist and NEVER afraid to use my voice. especially that last one- using my voice. i use my voice to give voice to those who are afraid to use their own. fear, pain, suffering or even love keeps women from expressing themselves. using your voice means you are a troublemaker and a women who rocks the boat.

being on Twitter has changed my life, see previous blog about that whole story. Twitter brought out the dormant feminist activist, that feisty unafraid woman who tells it how i see it. i have tweeted some of the most admirable of women, fascinating ladies all of them. i could and probably should list them out, a feminist shout-out, a hollaback to all my favorites. just know, if i follow you- i fucking love your ass. famous, celebrity, Texan, comedian, old, young, mother, childfree, local, international. you are all fucking ball rocking amazing and awesome. yes, i love to use adjectives. sue me. at some point when i'm not lazy and packing for a whirlwind trip- i will call you all out one by one, name by name, woman and man.

i am coming up quick on a milestone birthday, the big and "dreaded" 40. i'm supposed to be grown-up or responsible or some shit like that. i decided that because i have so much i don't need or want anything for myself. i am blessed, grateful and better off than most. i decided, hey why don't i pick a "charity" and get motherfuckers to like donate and shit for it for me because i don't need gifts. my life is my gift.

i chose Lilith Fund. lilithfund.org is their website. I wanted something feminist, pro-choice, local and after reading about them- i just knew they were the ones. i made a page for Lilith Fund to fundraise off of and sent out a few tweets. i had decided on a goal of $400. i figured, hey 40 move it over one and you get 400. seemed a little lofty, a little inspirational so i picked it and made the page.

let me just say this... i have never in my whole fucking almost 40 years felt the feminist love like i have for this fundraiser. wow. WOW. i would get an email, burst into happy tears and my heart would feel like it was bursting out of my chest. see, my adjectives and cheesiness. i hit my goal about 2 weeks ago, thanks to a random (not anymore) tweep who saw a RT (retweet) and made the $50 donation that gave me that magic number. total strangers read my little page and supported my birthday wish.

this little fundraiser restored my hope for humanity. it changed my LIFE. i know now i am valued, loved, cared about and admired. people think i'm rad because i made a decision to give back and pay it forward. i feel like these women are like my family. i know i helped some woman make a choice that was best for her. all because i didn't want to wallow in being forty and my mom is dead.

thank you for donating to my birthday wish. thank you to every single person who dug deep in their pockets to make my heart happy. thank you to the National Network of Abortion Funds. thank you to Abortion Funds. most of all, thank you thank you thank you to those amazing women of Lilith Fund. you retweeted every tweet, cheered me on and made me feel like a rockstar. thank you for doing the work you do when i know some days you have no idea how you'll get out of bed and do it one more day.

thank you to my tweeps. you are all my fucking heroines. you are all my fucking favorite. i fucking love all of you. this is my love letter to my feminist and pro-choice tweeps. you make my heart beat love every single minute of my day in my life.

there isn't anything i love more than a Random Act of Kindness. the outpouring of support and give a shit for my Random Act of Kindness- wow. just fucking wow. thank you again.

xoxoxo

and this one time...

i have so many things i should blog about...my fundraiser being a rousing success, being on Twitter while i see these amazing prochoice feminists inspire my ass to be better, the fight for reproductive justice and freedom.  i should and i will. but first:

I AM GOING TO LOS ANGELES TO MEET SOME MOTHERFUCKING COOL ASS PEOPLE FROM SONS OF ANARCHY.

you read that shit right, Kurt Sutter- genius, decided to reward two loyal fans with an all expenses paid trip to LA for a little show love, a little meet & greet. thanks to the generosity of Mark, aka Twisted Shadow, inviting me- i get to be one of the very lucky few. i could write blog after blog about how Twitter changed my life, made me the woman i am today, turned my life around, gave me friends i'll consider so for the rest of my life but i'm going to say it again- i'm the luckiest motherfucking lady on the goddamn planet today. every day i wake up and i CHOOSE gratitude. i choose to find one thing, anything, something and i give thanks. from the heart thanks. it's a struggle and some days i do fail miserably at my task. i forget to remember the gratitude. not for long but it happens. sue me.

Sons of Anarchy is my all time favorite TV show. ever. The Wire? awesome. Twin Peaks? love that shit so hard. Homicide: Life on the Street? fuck yes all day long. Friends? Chandler is my dream dude. but Sons? there is something about this show that i cannot get enough of. the drama, the comedy, the psychotic motherfucking bullshit. more, more, more, give me more. i got sucked in just seeing the AD on a random late night in mid Aug of 2008. a biker show? cool. i'll probably check that shit out. i saw more ads, more commercials, a little teaser here and there. i hit up the Intarwebz (that's what us savvy hot bitches do.) and found SutterInk, Kurt Sutter's blog. i didn't discover Twitter at that point (damnit) but i was EXCITED. this show lived up to every TV expectation a TV addict like me wants in a show to live and call her very own.

i discovered Twitter roughly the same time i was halfway through the 1st SOA season. ooh, i can TWEET about this show? and people will read it? AWESOME. i tweeted, i found like minded motherfuckers and here we all are like 3 yrs later. i hit it off with Mark (@Twisted_Shadow) and we've been tweeps ever since. we don't just have SOA in common. when Sutter announced this fan thing, we both said to each other- hey if i win (yeah right hahahaa!) i'll take you.

well his ass won. and he kept his word on taking me. i'm grateful to him, his understanding wife and the whole Sons of Anarchy world. i can't believe i'm going to turn 40 a week after this whole amazing experience is going to take place. i can't wait. i firmly and truly believe that Sons of Anarchy fans are the BEST FANS EVER. i haven't been proven wrong yet.  i've made a friend in Mark for life- he's not just a tweep but he's a homie.

i expect i'll be dorking it up in LA to the hilarity of many people i've never met. i know that Kurt Sutter is notoriously socially uncomfortable so i hope i don't fuck it up. one of my BFFs upon receiving my news said "You are such a fucking goober. You will totally fuck this up." she's known me since 1982 so she seems fairly confident i will completely fucking goober it up and embarrass myself appropriately. we can only hope the cameras will catch it so the millions of fans can see me being me.

thanks again to Kurt Sutter, Sons of Anarchy, FX, The SOA tweeps, Myra & her husband (the other winner!), all my SOA tweeps and just twitter in fucking general. a special, special thank you and you rock to Mark M. (and his wife, Kimberly!!!!)  you are fucking awesome to give a dorky ass chick like me a spot at your side to experience this awesomeness up close. i'll never forget that, yo.

so yeah, going to LA to meet some SOA peeps and tweeps up close and personal. my mom would be so proud.

my birthday wish.

i'm doing 2 different fundraisers for my upcoming 40th birthday. i turn The Big 4-0 on Nov. 20th and i want to raise at least $400 for each of them. i know we can do this.

Lilith Fund Birthday Wish!

Heifer International Birthday Wish!

the first is a local prochoice abortion fund that provides low-income women with the funds needed to help with their choice.

the 2nd is for the AWESOME Heifer organization. they provide support & help for women and their children & villages. they help women help themselves.

my mom was all about helping those learn to help themselves. i take her belief in social activism, social justice, love & compassion with me on my life's journey. i am going to be 40. i want to celebrate not just my life but LIFE. i am grateful to be ALIVE and happy.

please, please reblog, repost, retweet, post to FB or whatever other social media you can. send it via text, email or by fucking smoke signal. i want to blow this fundraiser out of the water, i want to exceed my every wildest insane dream i could think of for this 40th birthday wish.

i love my life. i love my mom. i love being prochoice.

LET'S FUCKING DO THIS!!!

a Dear Big D letter of love and affection on this anniversary of my momma's passing...

Dear Big D;

today marks the 9th year since your beloved wife's passing from here to another place. two weeks shy of your 33rd wedding anniversary. i was 30, Sissy was almost 27, Poots was 8 1/2 and BooBoo was 2. you were almost  58. mom was forever "29".

i just want to publicly, for all to see and read, say how much i love you. i miss Mom every single day but i give thanks more than daily i still have YOU. you are my rock, my biggest supporter and you never give up on me. life without Mom is the hardest but knowing i'm not alone makes it the slightest bit easier. no matter how much we argue, disagree or even "fight" i know you will never stop loving me, supporting me and giving a shit.

i have the BEST DAD IN THE WHOLE FUCKING UNIVERSE. i want every single person who stumbles upon this random note to the Universe out there to know that. there is NO better father, dad, daddy and Big D ever. there is no competition, Big D is the hands down winner.

they don't make them like Big D anymore. my BFF Lisa Lisa always says that when we reminisce about "the old days" aka life in Cali when my mom was alive and we lived there. "your parents were one of a kind, Lola." she tells me. i believe that. my parents were two total opposites and yet they were each other's true loves. that is a rare thing under the best of circumstances. i wish they made more Big D's in the world. i hope a lot of my friend's sons turn out to be in the Big D mold. hard working, funny, sociable, big-hearted and able to fucking fix shit that breaks. :) i firmly have the belief there is not a thing my dad can't find some way to fix and if he can't fix it, he knows what's wrong with it at least.

so to my father, my dad, Big D- i just want to take this chance to let the whole fucking internet know you are the BEST. BEST BEST BEST. you might drive ME crazy because our personalities differ but there is no human being walking this Earth i feel is a better and more awesome one than you.

life with my mother is hard but family has always been the center of my life. i know that my momma is here with us in a Spirit form and she is our guardian angel. she looks out for us now like she always has before.

i love you, Big D. xoxoxo <3

(my parents in front of our house Thanksgiving 2000)

it's been a rough week with no end to drama and fuckery in sight. that's ok, i know i've been through much worse and that i can handle it. Friday is the 9th anniversary of my mom's passing from this world to the next. last year i was in such a different place both emotionally and mentally.

i see i can only do for myself. i can't change the past, i can't change anyone. i can only change myself, my reactions and the lessons i choose to learn from experience- both good & bad.

this week is a lesson in patience, understanding and realizing that even if someone doesn't like me doesn't mean i have to care or accept it. i know i must show up, do my best job and i succeed. i learned from the best so i take those lessons to heart today, this week, more than ever. patience hasn't been my strong suit so far and i know it's a skill i have to get and keep.