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Saturday, August 28, 2010

i've been fired from my job for over a year. i started a friendship with someone in the most absurd, off the wall way imaginable. i never thought i would be where i am today. i have no job, no money and no car. i'm happy. it took me a long time to get where i am today but i don't think i'd change much. well...i'd change a few things.

i have someone in my life who accepts me 100% for who i am. weird, silly, committment-phobe and just plain goofy. we have more in common than anyone i've ever met or known in my life. how does that happen? we were friends (just friends, contrary to what certain "people" thought or think.) for months with no romantic involvement. i'm glad it evolved and we are where we ended up. even if some think that what happened isn't how it went down. haters have to hate, this i know for sure.

one of my very best, most beloved and closest friends is dying of a terminal cancer. she's young, full of life and one of the most compassionate people i've ever known in my entire life. i trust her with my life and to always tell me like it is, no matter what. she never tells me what i want to hear or how i think it should be. she just loves me. i am faced with a certainty of grief and death. my mother died almost 8 years ago. i still grieve for her on a daily basis. she is going to leave behind a family, her 3 young kids. kids who look just like her and their hearts are just as big, sweet and full of love.

this has all put my world in perspective. i know what matters now. it's not money, jobs or cars. it's not the material, it's not something you can put in your bank account, your home or hold in your hand. unless it's the face of the one you love. maybe their hand in yours. i'm so grateful every single day i wake up and i don't have cancer. i'm grateful i have family, friends and someone special to care and love me. i'm grateful i have a warm, safe, dry place to live, running water and a working bathroom. LOL life is great.

i find it funny how certain haters stalk my twitter, facebook and journals. let them. i don't have anything to hide or shirk from. i'm awesome and i know it. like i've always said...haters just make my light shine brighter with the darkness they try to put on me.


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