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Thursday, August 21, 2008

stupid shit that shouldn't bother me...but it still totally does. i just found out that my fucking fuckface, ex boyfriend Jeremy, married that cuntbag Man Shoulders [aka Shannon] this last May. on what was, coincidentally, the day we actually broke up on 2 years ago. yes, it was only 2 quick years ago he decided he wanted to stick his dick in her as much as possible. starting with a party he stayed out all night at the Friday before Mother's Day. he then spent most of MD with HER while i cried my eyes out [on my day off mind you.] because i missed my mom, who died in 2002. i know i'm so totally better off. i know i deserve better. i know i definitely DESERVED BETTER.

but i'm still fucking MAD as hell about this shit. it just GRATES ON MY SOUL. he's such a fucking dickhead douche that he didn't even care that what he did to me was complete fuckery. he did not care that while i knew we weren't exactly doing great, i still loved him. it's readily apparent that any emotions i had attached to him were not reciprocated. i'm just fucking pissed i wasted 2 years on his fucked up, alcoholic, pot-headed, computer game addicted ass in a city i fucking HATED. he made me get a fucked up job at a fucked up hotel. he threatened to break up with me over my trip(s) to Japan to see my NSM Amy. he put me down about my depression every single chance he got. he got me to fuck over myself financially by moving to a city i hated all just for him. i'm in credit card debt because he refused to flat out help me in any form, in spite of me telling him straight up i needed help before i moved in with him, because his dad called me a gold digger. pretty much to my face.

he never helped me get my car running which was ANOTHER part of the fuckery from when we moved in together. life was hard when i was in Bastrop. i was flat ass broke. but i had FRIENDS. i had FAMILY nearby. i had things to do, people to see and stuff going on. it was FAR from perfect and i was totally depressed. but i totally fucked myself over by believing in some stupid man.

i fucking hate men, relationships and all the other unnecessary bullshit associated with it. i wasn't a fan before Jeremy and nothing about that viewpoint has changed. men are fucking assholes for the most part. so yeah, that fucking revoked license having, two kids taken away, working a shitty job cause it doesn't require a drug/alcohol pee pee test, minimum wage job paying WHORE CUNTBAG who steals other people's relationships...she not only got to be engaged but married. she gets all kinds of fucking presents and wears the white, floofy dress. not that i'd be caught dead...but she's pretty much financially set for life. Jeremy makes a great living and i'm sure she's a fat, lazy fucker living off him like the GOLD DIGGER she actually is!!!! i just love that his family always made me feel like i was the biggest fucking loser on the planet for not having a college degree, a fancy car, my own house and all kinds of stupid material bullshit. that i just wanted to be with Jay and be happy. and i got called a gold digger, sponge and probably worse behind my back. and even his sister, my so called friend, wouldn't stand up and say she thought the shady ass shit that went on behind my back was fucked. that's fucked.

so fuck you Jeremy fucking M****y. i hope you end up flat broke, living out of a tent paying child support, alimony and hopelessly addicted to not just pot and booze but meth too, you fucking fuck. i hope you break bones, bump your head and get rear-ended in your precious truck several times a year. i hope you have an incurable STD. i hope your dick falls off. i hope her tits shrivel up, fall off and then give her cancer. i hope you all die in a horrible, painful death in a fire. i hope all the neighborhood dogs shit on your lawn, the cats pee in your bushes and that all the kids yell and scream in front of your house on sleeping in days.

oh, taking her fucking fat, Man Shouldered ass to Eureka Springs for Valentine's Day 2007 was just an ace touch. thanks for ruining the few good memories i had of you, douchebag. drop dead and i hope you take your precious little wifey poo and her fucking brats with you. dick.

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